Scientific* study predicts 2016 #Manchester #climate conference will be 10 minutes long, in a pub

A peer-reviewed scientific study (1) has shown that a future city-wide climate conference will be ten minutes long, held in a favourite councillor wateringhole, and organised earlier in the afternoon via social media.

keelingcurvespoof-page001The study’s author, Marc Hudson (BA, BSc, PITA) told MCFly  “The first stakeholder conference, in 2010 was a day long, and there was about 140 days notice.  They’ve been getting shorter, with less and less notice. The latest one is 3.5 hours, and has only been given six weeks notice.  Once you take out people turning up late, getting a coffee and finding toothpicks to prop their eyes open while the keynote speaker delivers predictabilities, it’ll pretty much be time to slink off home.”

Asked about the methodology of his study, Professor (2) Hudson told MCFly, “We did a regression analysis and split-strike conversion strategy. Our results are startling – the 2016 conference may well be a ten-minute schmooze in a pub with the a couple of Environment Strategy Team interns and the deputy Executive Member for the Environment.”

Contacted via ouija board, Charles Keeling, the American scientist whose work on the rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide got his fellow scientists changing their trousers about human greenhouse gas emissions, told MCFly “Man, I cannot tell you how glad I am not to be around to see the fugly mess that’s coming. And you guys in Manchester have really fumbled the ball.  I kinda embarrassed for you.”

The Steering Group was not reached for comment at time of going to press.

Marc Hudson

mcmonthly@gmail.com

Footnotes

(1) Mr Hudson has a BSc (Hons). That, sort of, makes him a scientist.  He collected some data, and copy and pasted a graph.  That’s sort of science-y.  His co-editor, whom he considers his peer, reviewed it.  QED.

(2) Inflation, eh. What can  you do?

About manchesterclimatemonthly

Was print format from 2012 to 13. Now web only. All things climate and resilience in (Greater) Manchester.
This entry was posted in Climate Change Action Plan, humour and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Scientific* study predicts 2016 #Manchester #climate conference will be 10 minutes long, in a pub

  1. LOL ROFL ha ha :))) – a very unscientific reply.

  2. arwafreelance says:

    Genius 😛 Arwa Aburawa Freelance Journalist

    ________________________________

  3. Jo Campbell says:

    Has Professor Hudson ever considered a career in Stand Up Comedy? My fears/hopes are that he reaches a wider audience some of whom may even be Manchester City Councillors and maybe then they will pay attention.
    In Stitches
    Jo

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